The Episcopal Church’s Bishop of New Hampshire wasted no time in commemorating same-sex marriages in his state, which became legal on Jan. 1.
 
The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson presided at a celebration and blessing of the civil marriage of the Rev. Eleanor “Ellie” McLaughlin and her partner, Elizabeth “Betsy” Hess, on Jan. 2.
 
The ceremony occurred at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church in Berlin, which Ms. McLaughlin served as rector from 2001 to 2008.
 
Ms. Hess, who holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and maintains a private practice in Berlin, N.H., is a member of the Diocese of New Hampshire’s standing committee.
 
A civil marriage ceremony preceded the blessing, and Bishop Robinson would like to see that order become more common in Episcopal congregations.
 
“I think it would be very helpful to disentangle church and state around the issue of marriage,” he told The Living Church.
 
Once civil officials extend what the government offers — civil recognition of a marriage — a priest then provides “the blessings of God, the church and the community” on the couple, the bishop said.
 
In his homily, Bishop Robinson referred to the account in Genesis of God creating Adam and then providing him with a soul mate.
 
One account of the ceremony described Bishop Robinson as pronouncing Adam “with a long ‘A’ and ‘dame.’ ” The bishop said he was striving for a faithful Hebrew pronunciation of Adam and not for the words “a dame.”
 
The bishop said he readily agreed to preside at the ceremony, as he has known both Ms. Hess and Ms. McLaughlin for decades.
 
“This church is among the closest to my heart in the diocese,” Bishop Robinson said.
 
Berlin is a classic mill city that is heavily Roman Catholic. A paper mill was the major employer in the city, which had a population of about 10,000 in 2000. Since the mill closed in 2006, such problems as domestic abuse and alcoholism have increased, the bishop said.
 
The diocese sponsors a three-year-old program in Berlin that trains seminarians in dealing with such pastoral challenges, he said.
 
The order of service used by Ms. Hess and Ms. McLaughlin recognizes the state as having jurisdiction over marriage, the bishop said.
 
Divorcing couples recognize this jurisdiction, he said, by approaching the state, not the church, to dissolve their bonds.
 
Drawing on his own experience, Bishop Robinson also believes the church has a pastoral role to play by helping couples grieve if their marriage fails.
 
“I would love to see us do some serious liturgical thinking about how we can be helpful to couples,” he said.
 
Such a rite would not celebrate divorce but would emphasize God’s continuing presence.
 
“I think the great message of Scripture is that God promises to be with us to the end of the age,” he said, even amid failure.
 
The bishop recalled how he and his former wife returned their wedding rings to each other when they were divorced. He said he had not realized what a healing experience that would be.
 
“It’s coming up on 24 years ago,” he said, “and I still remember it like it was yesterday.”
 
Douglas LeBlanc
 
The Living Church has a new look! Get the next 52 weeks of The Living Church Online, plus convenient access to more than a year of archived issues, all for just $25! Click here to start your subscription to the TLC Online Edition today!